I’m Not Pretty Right Now

My best friend back home just bought a house. The photos are beautiful. Her husband is great with their daughter. I have another friend who just had a son. She posts photos on facebook of him holding their son. I bet he helps with the feeds. I bet he never blames her for her post partum depression.

You can never trust what you see on facebook; that much, everyone should know. Still, I can’t help but look at those photos, longingly. My sons deserve that life; *I* deserved that life. A beautiful home with a loving partner who takes late night feeds or holds his children close. I’m not pretty; I’m green. I want it. I don’t want to take it from them, I just want the same thing.

I have my housemate. She stays up with my baby. She takes late night feeds and my sons love her… and one day, she won’t be here. She will go back to her home, to her sons, and I’ll carry on.

I don’t feel like a particularly pretty person, right now.



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