One of the most interesting aspects of what I do, is the way men react to the shift in the power dynamic. Yes, of course they expect to be under my heel, but only literally. Once money becomes involved, the game seems to radically shift. Because money is dirty, and only a whor€ would do this for a fee.
I don’t lie about what I do and what I offer. But I’ll often encounter potential clients who spit lines like, “that sounds like a lot; can you do better on the price?” What they’re really saying is, “your time, your skills, and what you do aren’t worth that much/I’m worth more in what I offer in my submission, because I’m a man. Devalue yourself for me, because the acknowledgement of your self worth is making me uncomfy.” That sounds like a BIG read into a very small statement from a potential client, but it isn’t. These men would never go to a florist and ask for the same bouquet of flowers, but cheaper. They wouldn’t ask a baker for the same cake, but at a lower cost. Or maybe they would…. but I doubt it.
As I progress through my work, this is, without a doubt, one of the most fascinating interactions I have, and it happens fairly regularly. At first, I complied, “oh yes! I know the cost is high; I’ll try to make it easier for you!” (WHY?!) Then, I moved to, “Well, I know it’s a lot, but my costs include X, Y, and Z, and I need to cover them.” (Seriously, why am I justifying myself? This was a hard one to unlearn; I was raised as a people-pleaser, so learning to just say NO has been a tremendous challenge.) Finally, “No. That’s my fee. You can do it or you can’t.” But in reality, the mere fact that I entertain such people even after they’ve shown willingness to devalue my work says that I still have a long way to go. But it’s interesting to me that it wasn’t the punishment aspect that pushes them away; the though of abuse at the gloved hand of a Dominant Woman is what drew them in to begin with. And often, if someone can’t afford me, they apologize for wasting my time (at which point they’ve shown good manners, so I redirect them to a Domme with lower costs), and we call it a day. But these are men who have come to terms with the most graphic, most intense aspects of physical power exchange, and cannot come to terms with the idea of giving the sort of power that can make the most difference in my life; they can’t hand over the cash. They can’t accept that I set a certain price point. ME. I set the price, I have the control, and they submit. Against that restraint, they balk. When that happens, I like to picture them gathering up all their toys like small children, and flouncing out of the room with a, “FINE! YOU DON’T GET TO HAVE MY COOKIES, THEN!” Yes. That’s ok. As my son would say, “you’re a pants-head, nickel face!!” (I don’t know what it means, but when he says it at the park, I usually yell, “I AGREE!!”
It makes me laugh. It’s nice to be in a mentally strong enough place to laugh at stuff like this. I just find it strange that so many men will accept leather placed around their necks, but won’t put their hand in their own pocket to pay for it.